3 Tips for Cultivating Witness Versus Wallow Consciousness
Recently I noticed myself wallowing in some feelings of sadness. The sadness was brought on by me comparing myself to a woman who I was perceiving as more successful than I. As a result I was actively self deprecating and feeling inadequate. Yes, I confess that sometimes I do let comparing myself to others get me down, and it can be a real drag. Fortunately lately I’ve had the insight and awareness to witness what’s happening instead of let myself be pummeled by the self pity that often in the past would ensue. Though I still felt the sadness, I was also able to be with it in a way that allowed me to honor my feelings instead of be a victim to them.
Here are 3 practices that I use to get me into the witness and out of the wallower.
1. Feeling & Sensing; Notice your feelings and their corresponding sensations instead of the narrative in your mind that justifies the feeling. Letting go of the story and being a witness to sensation and feeling, brings you to truth that empowers you instead of story that debilitates you.
2. Be Self Referencing: Acknowledge self referring vs external referring behavior. Are your choices motivated by your inner preferences or by outside standards? Witness your tendency towards one or the other to identify whether you are living and choosing authentically for you.
3. Take Responsibility: Do you take responsibility for your life or do your tend to blame people or circumstances outside yourself. Witnessing why things are the way they are, with you as the director and the producer of your life, not just the lead actor, will encourage “yummy” way quicker than the victim “yucky” experience of your life’s dramas.
The cultivation of witness consciousness is an ongoing practice. We have to stalk the wallowing tendencies and be gentle when we find them, witnessing even that with a loving “ah so”, and choose to dance in the light of the witness helping to dismantle the darkness of the wallower.
Leela Francis is the founder of Vividly Woman. An embodiment Expert, facilitator and coach, she inspires the values of the divine feminine in work and in play.
My coming out of the closet as a recoveringself hater has given so many other women permission to admit to being one too. Even just taking that first step is so important, and I applaud you for being here on this page because it takes a lot of courage to be seen as one who doesn’t like herself. Well dear sister, you are so not alone!
Starving from lack of self love is not pretty. It’s also simply not okay and that’s why Vividly Woman is passionately devoted to inspiring greater self love for women. We are so ready for this; we are, our loved ones are, and our world is. Everyone will benefit from YOU being in greater love with YOU!
Diane Anderson MA, RCC, Psychotherapist, entrepreneur & Vividly Woman Co-Facilitator.